HAPPY HALLOWEEN

                                                
                                    HAPPY HAUNTING EVERYONE!

                                         
Hello to you all once again from the far reaches of Alaska!  It's that time of year for spooky stories and scary costumes!  So in keeping with the times, I would like to share with you all a few of our favorite Halloween things.......perhaps you will even find something new to do or to try!


Favorite place during Halloween:        DISNEY!

 

 Favorite VAMPIRE movie!:    30 Days of Night   
 They were my inspiration for my costume. But somehow I'm still better looking!







 Other Favorites!:

  CARVING PUMPKINS!!!   Have you ever read the legend of Jack-O-Lantern? click here for The Legend                               

     Visiting the LaLaurie Mansion  IN NEW ORLEANS OR HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS.
CHECK IT OUT:  HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS!
For a quick read on the evil Delphine LaLaurie click here!  Evil Incarnate!
                               
                               



TV shows to die for:  Ghost adventures and Ghost hunters!! WOOT!

 
      Of course there are dozens of spooky ghost shows on TV these days. Does mom watch them all?  Of course. This keeps her mind off of OUR resident ghosts. Yes we have several.  Intrigued?  Come spend the night with us.  Don't believe in ghosts? Well, perhaps you would be interested in one of our favorite Halloween recipes instead.  We always have a special little dinner, and each year we try a new creepy little recipe from the Martha Stewart Halloween edition magazine.  Last year we had Spinach Ricotta Skulls,  and Black Lagoon Vodka.  Okay the humans had the vodka, but it was fun to watch anyway.  This year it will be Boggy Brew and Blistered Butternut Squash and Cannelloni.  BTW---the recipe below goes great with Thanksgiving too!

                                SAUSAGE AND APPLE HAND PIES

• 1 pound sweet Italian sausage with casings removed
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 tsp minced fresh thyme leaves
• 1/4 tsp ground pepper
• 1 Tablespoon vegetable oil if needed
• 1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon flour, plus more for dusting
• 3/4 cup chicken stock
• 1 medium granny smith apple, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch dice 
• 1 large egg
• your favorite pastry dough recipe or see dough recipe below

1.  In a large skillet over medium-high heat, cook sausage, breaking it up with a spoon, until no longer pink, about 5 min.  With a slotted spoon, transfer sausage to a plate.  Reduce heat to medium; add onion, thyme, and pepper (if pan is dry add the oil).  Cook, stirring occasionally, until onion is translucent, about 5 min.

2.   Add flour to pan; cook, stirring for 30 seconds. Stir in stock and cook, stirring, until thick, about 1 minute.  Stir in apples and reserved sausage.  Remove from heat; let mixture cool.  (Filling can be refrigerated up to overnight in an airtight container.)

3.  Preheat oven to 375 deg.  On a lightly floured surface, roll out one disk of dough into a 14 x 16 inch rectangle slightly less than 1/8 inch thick.  Transfer to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper; top with a second piece of parchment.  Repeat with remaining dough disks, covering with parchment and stacking rolled dough.  Refrigerate 15 minutes.

4.  Using a 3 3/4  inch cookie cutter, cut rounds from sheets of dough.  Place 2 Tablespoons filling in center of half of the rounds.  Brush edges lightly with beaten egg.  Top with remaining rounds, pressing edges with a fork to seal.  With a small leaf-shaped cutter, cut shapes from scraps and adhere to pies with some of the beaten egg (alternately, cut leaf shapes out of tops and add cutouts slightly off center to cover the open portion). VERY PRETTY!!  Combine scraps and reroll.  Cut rounds and repeat to fill and form more hand pies.  Place on parchment lined baking sheets. Brush with egg.  Refrigerate 15 min.

5.  Bake, rotating sheets halfway through, until golden brown, about 40 min. serve warm.

AND NOW THE PASTRY RECIPE TO DIE FOR! 

5 cups flour
2 tsp salt
2 tsp sugar
4 sticks cold unsalted butter cut into tablespoons
3/4 to 1 cup ice water

Combine flour, salt, sugar in food processor.  Add butter and pulse just until pea size chunks remain.  with machine running, add water through the feed tube, and process just until dough starts to come together.  Transfer mixture to a work surface and bring together to form a dough.  Divide dough in thirds and flatten each piece into a disc. wrap in plastic and refrigerate at LEAST an hour. 

AHHHHH!  The joy of food!  But if it is crafts you prefer, click this link for a fun project.  Mirror Glow Eyes 
Scared the crap outta me, but was a fun project for the humans.


           Well all, I hope you are enjoying your Halloween season.  We certainly are!
And remember:  those strange and creepy sounds you hear during the night are only your imagination.......or are they???

                                                              



                                                        

At the Vet

  My mood after my first vet visit can best be summed up with one word: “P*****-OFF”.  Yes, that’s really two words, but I think you get the point.  I liken this event to mom’s annual visits to the Doctor.  You know the kind I mean.  Those below the belt visits known as the PAP.  Oh yes,—I know all about it.  I’ve heard mom complain about them for years. So why then, dear reader, does she insist on inflicting this torture on her innocent avian friends? It has been 11 years since my first vet visit. I have gone every year since I have been in mom's care. But the first visit has forever been seared upon my avian brain.


Let's review the horrible onslaught of details....

The Unofficial List of Bird Rules

                                                                   
      Humans have so many rules these days that I really don't know how they keep them all straight. Mom recently brought her employee handbook home from the office. I sat with her as she thumbed through it one evening, and I was greatly surprised that her thumb didn't start bleeding in the process.

HAPPY EASTER

                  HAPPY EASTER!

Hi everyone!  Easter is only a couple of days away, and whether you are celebrating the Resurrection, Passover, the coming of spring, or the invention of the solid chocolate bunny, my flock and I wish you a very wonderful day!! 

Spring is in the air for most of you out there, but for us here in Alaska, real Spring is slooow moving at best! Mom is hoping for a real Easter Egg Hunt outside without the residual snow from the winter, and she may just get her wish.  Most of the snow is gone now, which makes her happy. But her dream of wearing shorts and a tank top are a little premature. Oh, well. She'll make the best of it. She always manages to find a silver lining even in the darkest recesses of a black funnel cloud.  And even if it creates a little embarrassment for us birds....
              FLASHBACK: DECEMBER, 2010..........

An Ode to Shiori (A Silent Dream....)

Hey folks!  Have you ever been in LOVE?  I mean really in love?  The kind of love that makes you shake in your boots, makes your heart quiver, and makes your head swim?  True Amor is not just for humans.  It also resides in the hearts of all avian companions.  Take it from me:  they don't call me Jose the Lover for nothing!  There is a hen somewhere in Wyoming.  She is round, red, and she resides always in my memory, in the center of my soul. 
                                            

Close your eyes and reflect with me for a moment....

The EYES have it!!

Ok listen up guys!  I know some of you out there think you know all there is to know about women.   But I seriously beg to differ. Let me tell you a little secret.  And let this sentence completely burn onto your retinas. The secret is this: I am far superior to you all because I AM AN EYE MAN!  When you’re an eye man, you can get away with just about whatever you want.

 Let me show you how this works....

4:30 am. The sound of the alarm fills the air, always accompanied by a groan and by the sound of shuffling feet as mom lurches to the bathroom. Within about 5 minutes , the sound of the shower spray hitting the tub can be heard. Mom is in her usual rare form. Slightly pissy, and oh so not in the mood. This time of morning always comes way too fast for her.  Just another typical work day begins for mom.

Mom usually lets us out of the cage for a short stint every morning as she fixes our breakfast. As mom’s routine goes on, and as six o’clock draws near, I begin to realize how much I do NOT want to be locked away for another tortuous day in my cage. This is when I use my extraordinary talents as an EYE MAN to prolong my freedom! 

As mom approaches my cage with my breakfast, I slowly approach her face and give her soft beaky kisses on her cheek.  I then lock eyes with her.  She thinks it’s cute.  The gullibility is so sad.  She doesn’t realize that every suttle little movement of her corona, and every quick little flash of her iris tells me exactly what’s going to happen next.  A glance here means “what time is it?” .  A glance there means “where’s my purse?”.  And a quick glance towards the floor means “where the heck is my other shoe?”.  The frantic survey around the room means "Where are those stupid keys?".I have it all down pat. I am the man.

 

It is when the final glance toward the coat closet comes that I know I need to act fast.  My plan of action must come to complete and utter fruition at that moment!  I launch my torpedo like green body up my rope perch, all the way to the ceiling.  In that instant, mom knows she screwed. The proceeding begging and pleading is a delight to behold, but I do not budge!! Of course mom frantically climbs a stool to reach me, and that is when I launch a series of fake  attacks.  I hold on tight and refuse to open my little birdie feet even as she tries to pry them open. Such fun! I flap as hard as I can, making sure to create enough wind to disturb her perfectly coiffed hair. And make no mistake: it is always accompanied by my famous evil laugh. Closing my little birdie ears against the onslaught of curse words delivered by mom, I continue to hold a tight resolve on that perch.  I always wonder what she could  possibly be cursing about?  Is it the fact that I’m flapping, or because my evil little laugh sounds so much like hers?  At any rate, her hair looks like crap by now, and that makes it totally worth it. 

 Using the "I'll trick him down by offering him his favorite treat" trick, mom brings out the peanut butter/sweet potato/banana/granola concoction that I love soooo much.  But I am always far too smart to fall for that!  As the treat comes closer to my beak, I lift my foot to step up onto her hand.  Unsuspecting of my treachery, I quickly shift my weight several times. Locking eyes with her again, I position myself onto her sleeve. With one quick squeeze, out drops a perfectly formed little pellet.  The kind that looks easy to clean up, but in reality smashes itself into fabric for time and all eternity. And wow! Now I've just stepped into it......  

By the time I finally allow mom to put me back into the cage, Mom is  mortified, and I am pleased beyond mortal comprehension. I can even feel my beak curling up into an unnatural smile.....*think Grinch*
And even though mom’s day completely spirals down the toilet after moments like these, she still thinks me staring at her is so cute and innocent ........

What can I say?  The eyes have it !

                                                        

Mom's Date

Hello all!  This is my Blog spot!  I'm Jose, and I hope you enjoy my very first post!  Let's take a look at a blast from the past.  Back when mom was still a single parent of two scheming little birds.....

There he was in all his glory. Standing in the doorway. Yes, built like a tank. But I was ready for battle! Mom invites him in. The tension mounts and Rico's head feathers rise. We glance at each other with sick glee knowing mom's stupid date is about to end. HE HE HE I've never felt such evil in all my life!
Rico and I maneuver into position: me way at the top of the rope perch and Rico on the top of her t-stand. We wait....
Mom closes the door behind this dude. What a mistake she just made....he hands her a bottle of rum so they can make rum and coke. (He's gonna need that rum to clean his wounds....)
They laugh and chat for a second. My high alert goes ballistic when it appears he wants to kiss mom. But he doesn't. hehehe perhaps he senses he is about to be roadkill......
Suddenly he spies us across the room. I glance at Rico. She glances at me. We stare at him....
He says " I wanna meet the birds". Mom says "Come over here and meet my babies". Oh yes we are her babies! Rosemary's babies! he he he he heh e heh e hehehehehehhe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They approach us. Rico's beak pulsates. My vent squeezes back the huge bomb saved up just for him. He askes "Can i hold them?" Stupid mom says "Well let's see". His hand approaches me slowly even though I'm up so high. He's wooing me with rediculous comments such as "Hi Jose" and "You're cute". Soon he will be saying "Oh my god I'm bleeding, I'm dying...."

Then suddenly I spotted it. How could I have missed it? How did it enter the room without my noticing it? I was so focused on flesh that it's presence totally went unnoticed. Rico let out a hellish scream. for a brief second i felt as though an eagle were circling my cage. I went numb. It suddenly became clear: HE WAS WEARING A DREADED BASEBALL CAP! My birdie instincts took over and I bolted. Rico in one direction, me in the other. The sounds of wing flapping and screeching filled the air. How were we to know this guy was gonna use the baseball cap tactic against us???????I was pissed and oh so mortified!

Suddenly a hand reaches down to pick both Rico and I up. It wasn't mom's. It was too big and gnarly looking. In my fear and desperation, i step up. Rico does too. We look at each other in both fear and disgust. The cap was looming above us.....he puts us back onto our perches and says" wow, i like your birds". What a sneaky idiot this guy is.....Our plans were foiled. Our hatred and devilishness for him secretly smoldering....

mom's date went just fine. she put us into our cages and covered us early. But it's ok. There is always next time. And I KNOW he won't always be wearing that baseball cap............